Have kids.
I kid you not, I don't think there is any other way to truly show yourself your shortcomings in your life, than to watch your child do something and think, "where in the WORLD did that come from?!" only to realize moments later, "oh crap, s/he gets that from me!"
From the time Z gets up, until she goes to bed (and the brief intermission of nap time), she is going full speed. She hardly ever walks, she usually runs everywhere. This isn't always great for her because she inherited every bit of her mother's graceful nature, which means if there's a possibility she's going to trip over her own two feet, she's going to do it. This is great in ways because she entertains herself and usually lets me get some things done around the house and take care of Lily as she plays and runs, but is frustrating in ways because when there are times in the day when we have to stop, ie mealtime and diaper changes, you would think the world is ending.
Eating is especially frustrating because it's probably the longest time of the day, beside her nap time, where she is required to be in one place for an extended period of time. She's by no means a picky eater, but she never wants to sit and eat. Put a bowl of strawberry slices on the ottoman for her to graze on as she plays and they will be gone in 5 minutes. Take the same size bowl and contents at the high chair, and its tantrum city. Refuses to eat them, not even a bite. Tells me "done" when she has eaten nothing and I know she's hungry. And finally, after 20 minutes of sitting in our chair trying to negotiate her way out, she finally gives in to eating, and eats everything.
I will beg with her, plead for her to eat when we sit down, and there are days she flat out refuses. I have cried many times over the lack of food she consumes, or her refusal to eat anything except Cheerios. I have prayed over this several times, and one day that small voice of the Holy Spirit smacked me upside the head with a "Gee, sound familiar?"
I am a very busy person. Nursing Lily has slowed it a little, but I typically tend to have things I "must do" on a daily basis. I get the girls up, we come downstairs, I feed them (or try to), and then try to organize the kitchen somewhat, only to get overwhelmed with any number of dishes in the sink beyond what non-signing people can count on two hands. I then try to figure out lunch and dinner, along with doing laundry and trying to keep our house looking somewhat manageable. I am very bad, in all of this, to do the things I really "must do"- spend time with my Savior in prayer and Bible study, and do things to take care of myself (eat, shower, take a moment to rest when both girls are sleeping or occupied). And most days I find myself utterly exhausted.
If you were to come over to my house right now, you can see more often times than not, I fail miserably at balancing my "would like tos" and my "must dos."
Those moments of sitting and doing the one thing God calls me to- fellowship with Him, is so often glossed over because I can't be still for long enough to read His word and thank Him for everything in my life.
How often does my Savior pursue my heart, only to be met with my kicking and screaming of what I have to do today? How many days has He waited for me to sit with Him and have Him show me how much I'm valued, only to stress over the pile of laundry upstairs that I can't get to because there's a mountain of nonstick pans in the sink that must be hand washed?
In Matthew 11:28-30 Christ says, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
He will give me rest. Not accomplishing the "to do" list of my day will give it to me. He will give it to me. But I must go to Him. I must be willing to set aside my pride of thinking I have it down, and find my rest in Him. And when I do go to Him, it doesn't matter if I get one thing done or the whole list of things I try to accomplish in that day- I find myself feeling much more rested and content than on the days I did not fellowship with Him. If you're anything like me, I pray that you will take time to rest with and in your Beloved.
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